There's a Fine Line Between

Genius and


Well ... you know



Fantastic and



Fanatic



Talent and



Aw... forget it

Traveling With K.G.

Ciao cyber-pals. How’s life treating you? Today’s topic is traveling, and I don’t mean from the La-Z-Boy to the fridge.

Who doesn’t like to travel; explore faraway places, eat exotic food, use long forgotten math skills to figure out how many pairs of underwear are necessary? I mean really, don’t want to get caught short (pun so intended).

Just returned from an awesome trip to Italy recently; Rome and Milan respectively. I believe these are the only places on earth without a Starbucks on every corner. Of course, there are coffee bars every five feet, so having caffeine withdrawals is not likely. The Italians are so much worse than us. We won’t drive more than a block to get our morning fix, and they won’t walk more than a few feet. Probably because they have cooler shoes and don't want to wear them out.

The Coliseum was… well…colossal. An ingenious feat of human imagination and engineering, I must say. So how come all the streets are uneven cobblestones? Does it take a genius to make a flat road? Just asking.

Oh, and I took my first trip through that naked camera thing at the airport. What the heck are the requirements for that job? Good eyesight and a strong stomach I think.

More on my trip later.

K.G.

Am I Old Fashioned?

Let’s see, I remember when tips were for people who actually provided some sort of personal service for me, personally. Now I know it’s really difficult to pour a cup of coffee -I drip all the time- so perhaps this is a skill that should be rewarded with a tip. Coffee is also dangerously hot so maybe hazard pay is also in order. I expect any day now my wife will place a tip jar on the kitchen counter next to the receipt for a pair of asbestos gloves. Will I tip her? Youbetcha.

I remember life before cellular phones. Has the smart phone made my life easier? Hmmm…, the jury’s out on this one.

Smartphone Downside:

I don’t have an excuse for not calling people right back.

I take terrible “Selfies”.

“Stocks App” – I don’t have any stocks and it makes me feel inadequate.

It’s impossible to misplace a pay phone.

Smartphone Upside:

I no longer have to wrestle a drug dealer out front of the Quickie-Mart to use the pay phone.

Don’t have to memorize phone numbers.

With the “Map” function, I can always find my way home (My wife will argue whether or not this is an upside).

I can use the “Selfie” function on the camera to make sure there’s nothing stuck in my teeth (See wife comment above).

Fun Facts

Remember phone booths? If Superman was around today, he’d have to strip down in the tiny backseat of his smart car. Not to mention that blond lady in “The Birds” movie would have been pecked to death in the first twenty minutes if not for this modern marvel. I kinda miss those.

History of Fashion

I wore Converse sneakers (wanted Beatle boots –insert sad face) long before they were hip and cool. Also saggy pants. In my day they called them hand-me-downs. I was so ahead of the curve.

H20-No

I hope you’re feeling better dear
This lovely Tuesday morning
May I suggest you get some rest
Since you didn’t heed my warning

So just remember this, my love 
You gave me much joke fodder
So next time you fly far away
Please don’t drink the water

-© 2014 Kenneth Goorabian

Intro

Hello fellow cyber-nauts. It is I, "hautegrandpa" - AKA “the loquacious expounder of Sisyphean drivel”, lover of humor, coffee and small, furry rodents coming at you live from this endless universe of mind-numbing flotsam and jetsam we lovingly call the Matrix. We are going to have such a good time, oui? Since we have only just been introduced, here's a few posts to get our new friendship rolling.

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