“You may have noticed we have no sex lives. As a result, there's lots of chocolate in this house.”
― Keryl Raist
When I woke up this morning, my wife asked, “Would you
like a cookie?”
My reply was, “That sounds so gross right now.”
What she actually said was “quickie,” and if she
starts talking to me again,
I’m sure we’ll laugh and laugh.
-Kenneth
Goorabian
If you were standing outside our bedroom door in the
morning, you might think we’d been“in flagrante
delicto.” Oh, how I wish it were true.
I actually make those moans and groans every day when I get out of bed.
Growing old can certainly be trying. Not only does one’s
hearing begin to falter, but the memory as well. This last one isn’t so bad now,
as I’ve finally memorized the way to the bathroom in the dark due to the frequent
trips. I confess, my aim’s not what it once was. Then again, it’s not like I’m
shooting at intruders.
One fun thing I’ve noticed as I’ve matured (like a
fine wine), is an increased appetite for sweets. I believe I could live on
frozen yogurt and neon sour gummy worms if I had to. If pressed to choose between sex or frozen treats,
I’d be inclined to order a side-by-side freezer for the bedroom. It’s come to
the point that when I see a beautiful woman walk by, my only sinful thought is
wondering if she has a Snickers in her purse. Is that odd?
Confession: I just ate a chocolate and vanilla ice
cream bar during the writing of this piece.
Sweets cover a multitude of sins.
K.G.
