Dear Abby,
Signed,
Frustrated in Fullerton
Unfortunately, I once again (heavy sigh) find myself alone. I’ve never been one to mope, but I’m starting
to think I’ll never find (and keep) “the one.” And try as I might to be a desirable
partner, I can’t seem to keep a relationship with a woman going. Oh, I briefly flirted
with the idea of “switching teams.” This was quickly dismissed. Sharing my innermost thoughts and dreams with
another man just don’t float my boat. So here I am, sitting in the dark at the
keyboard trying to self-analyze just what went wrong for the umpteenth time.
Was I really doing my best to
be a desirable partner? I thought so. I was generous with my time and money, never
cheated and showered her with praise her every time we met. I wasn’t jealous
when she spent time with other guys, waited patiently when I showed up and she
wasn’t ready, and always tried to keep the conversations intelligent and
current, but also wouldn’t avoid the deep subjects. I made a point never to
bash or compare her to my ex’s, and when I called and said I was coming I
always kept my word. I encouraged her to be herself and if she wanted to
experiment a bit, well, hey, I was all in. So what gives?
I guess in the end we just
wanted different things. She wanted bigger and better and I was happy with the
status quo. I’m sure the age difference was a factor. I couldn’t really expect a
21-year-old to hang with a 61-year-old man for long. She wanted to climb mountains,
I was into naps. Pipe dream at most. But when we were together I felt so
special, like I was the only guy in her world.
I miss her a lot. The thought
of having to find a woman to replace her sends my anxiety levels through the
roof. But in the end I will. I always do.
My wife is always supportive
when I go through a crisis like this. And I love her for it. But she says I am
starting to look shaggy so I’d better find a new hairdresser.
New relationships are always
so challenging. It’s all a matter of trust.
K.G.
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