Welcome all seekers of cyber love and romance.
It’s been said there's a soul mate out there for every
one of us. No matter if you look like Quasimodo, smell like a yak, have more
hair than an orangutan, or less teeth than a Louisiana gator hunter, the guy or
gal of your dreams is somewhere waiting for you with a hump massage, aromatic
shampoo, a stiff back comb, and a dental referral. This is very good
information to know. I'm comforted by this. We're all wonderfully made by a
loving God who has put it upon another’s heart to see beyond our warts and
wrinkles and get a glimpse of our inner beauty.
Can I get an Amen?
One factor that plays a major role in our quest for
true love is patience. I was going to add a second, panic, but we are not that
desperate are we? Of course we aren’t.
Patience: The
ability to endure delay.
Ouch. Endure and delay are words most of us aren't
fond of. But we forget that a simple jaunt to the 7-11 by our ancestors
involved hours of staring at the hind quarters of a horse, and a trip abroad on
an ocean-going vessel with fewer creature comforts than the local Motel 6 could
take weeks. How’s that for patience? I imagine the lovely lad or lassie that we
wooed with our perfect penmanship and flowery repartee might be married with
children long before our declaration of undying love was delivered by the local
postman.
A sweet lady sent me the following question on
cyber-dating:
“Guys flood my inbox with email, but before I can even
answer they send another saying they are moving on. What gives?”
My response was as follows:
“When wandering through a valley awash with thousands
of beautiful flowers of every color and hue, some just don't have the patience
to wait for a particular rose to bloom.”
Patience (along with Elvis) has left the building. We live
in a society of instant gratification, instant oatmeal and instant messaging. We
get miffed if someone at Starbucks orders an extra drizzle on their mocha frappucinno,
or question the basic addition skills of the person in front of us in the
15-items-or-less lane at the grocery store who has obviously overstepped the
boundaries of all fairness by having ignored the posted limit.
Patience, when it comes to romantic endeavors, is of
the utmost importance. I have been accused of having little (or none). I’ll
admit the lady was right. I had a propensity to slap a big old Evinrude
outboard on the row boat of love and strangle the throttle for all it’s
worth.
Do you rush into relationships? Maybe your biological
Timex is ticking so loud it’s keeping you awake at night, or perhaps your mother
is getting tired of doing your laundry and wants to turn the doublewide’s spare
room into a Wayne Newton shrine.
Whatever the case, you must learn to gently tap the
brakes of your emotions or run the risk of whizzing by the huge red flags alerting
you to the fact that the swiftly approaching bridge of happiness is closed for
repairs. Stop and smell the roses so you’ll be certain that nasty virtual smell
is actually fertilizer and not something your future love bunny has stepped in
and will never be able to completely scrape off the bottom of their shoe.
Crawling through the virtual weeds in order to find
the perfect flower takes loads of patience and persistence. This can be harder
than finding the perfect pair of jeans. You ladies should relate to this. They
shouldn’t be too tight or clingy as to restrict freedom of movement. They must
have a little room to grow; be soft and comfortable, like an old friend; the
stitching strong; the materials impeccable; not so long that we step all over
them; the right color; the right style; hold us in all the right places;
flatter us; make us feel good about ourselves; and never wear out. Impossible
you say?
Hmmm…
Impossible for us, perhaps, but with God, all things are possible.
Choose wisely my friends.
K.G.
