A Rose by Any Other Name

Cool nicknames are so in. Everybody seems to have one these days. JLo, JLaw, Black Mamba,

Caitlyn, Jay Z, ‘Ol Blue Eyes, Pitbull, etc. Even people I know have cool names like Skeeter, JPomp and Vinnie Pee. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately. I should have a cool name too. Something catchy and memorable.

Names I’m considering.

1.      Grand Pubah of the Universe. This has a nice ring to it, but it’s a bit long. And most people I know don’t know how to spell Pubah… Poohba… Puba? You get the idea.

2.      Captain Caffeine. Saving the world one double espresso at a time. I was up all night thinking about this one.

3.      One-Hit-Wonder-man. Follow for https://youtu.be/sBLHETjlwTI?t=10  shameless living-in-the-past plug.

4.      Sprinkle-man. This is my wife’s idea. She says I’m like Rain Man lite. I don’t quite know how to take that, to take that, to take that. And since starting medication, I’m beginning to really believe I’m much better looking than Dustin Hoffman, tic or no tic.

5.      Loquacious-man, External Processor Dude or for you native Americans, He Who Never Shuts Up. You may Google these if you must.

So, what’s the difference anyway? I guess it’s just fine to keep the moniker my parents bestowed on me. Still, I wish they’d had a better sense of humor when choosing a name.

I think Kim and Kanye’s new child would be much happier if his last name was Augustine. 

K.G.