The Forrest Gump Syndrome

The Forrest Gump Syndrome

(Excerpt from “Hot Grandpa: A Boomer’s Adventures in Cyber Dating”)

Now, let’s examine the following quote:  “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”

Monsieur Gump’s above statement so embodies the online dating experience most of us have experienced that I almost cringe when I read it.  I dare say there’s more fudging (pun so-intended) on cyber-dating profiles than on most income tax forms.  Does filling out a simple love questionnaire suddenly cause temporary Alzheimer’s?  I believe someone should do a study on this.

But Mr. G’s sweet proclamation is spot on, isn’t it?  He was a visionary and philosopher; a true renaissance man.  Way ahead of his time, if you ask me.

The only other person to come close is Patrick Starfish, sidekick to SpongeBob SquarePants.  And I quote:  “Being grown-up is boring.  Besides, I don’t get jazz.”

Sorry.  Occasionally my inner child sneaks out of the crib.

Continuing with the box ‘o chocolates analogy, I find that hours spent searching for love online can be compared to blissfully nibbling away on an unlimited supply of cyber bon-bons in the hope of finding a diamond while trying desperately not to chip a virtual sweet tooth on a hidden blue-eyed CZ.

Another problem is the box of chocolates keeps growing larger and larger every day, which, in turn, causes us to completely disregard the age-old “bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” lesson our ancestors understood so well.  It becomes so hard to settle for fluffy nougat when a few rows over could be the cherry center of your dreams.

Let’s get real, shall we?  There are only so many raspberry truffles to go around.  Sometimes one must take a chance on a coconut crème or a Peppermint Patty.  Who knows?  It might just be a flavor you could fall in love with.

Caloric Side Note:

Statistics say couples gain on average 14 pounds once they get comfortable in a new relationship.

Really?

So, as you hunt and peck your way to sugary surrender, keep in mind:  If you’re advertising yourself as a soft, creamy caramel in the hope of snagging the love glutton of your dreams, sooner or later he or she will be inclined to take a bite and quickly find out you’re really just a wee bit nutty inside, which to some other unsuspecting nibbler might just spell sweet success.

So be real, be yourself, and remember these words of wisdom from Charlie Brown’s creator:  “All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” -Charles M. Schulz

Jusqu'à ce que nous nous reverrons,

K.G.